It’s impossible to ignore the Apple iPhone (or iPod Touch), try as I might it keeps coming up. So I caved in and am posting about this list put together by Cracked (the list kings, no doubt). It’s true there’s a lot of applications for the Apple portables, some more useless than others - this list covers the more useless. A taste:

Imagine you’re walking down a dark alley, when you are approached by a hulking mass of criminality. You only have your iPhone to defend you. Fortunately, all you have to do is unlock the screen, launch this app and a faint beeping sound will usher forth to notify all SWAT teams in earshot to swoop down to your rescue.

Or, more likely, the guy who was just going to steal your watch and jewelry is probably going to opt for your iPhone as well.

Clicky to read the whole list via Cracked, definately good for a laugh at the absurdness even if you don’t care for the Apple pair.